Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
