You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
