K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
