I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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