Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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