I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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