People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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