Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize