I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
being pregnant is like rehab
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
