By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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