I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
