you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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