I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
