Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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