what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
