My first STD was from a foam party
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
