We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
