Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
