is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
