come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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