so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
