I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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