told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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