Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have aggressive nipples.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
