he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
