dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
