Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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