I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
