i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
