Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
