Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
