everyone is single if you try hard enough
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
