I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
