how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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