The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You smell like stripper and shame
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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