the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
