She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
