Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
