just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
