Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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