yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
