no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
