my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
