Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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