But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize