I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
