dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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