dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
operation have a gay friend backfired
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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