people are starting to question the shark bite story
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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