I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
