flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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