you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
