can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize