There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize