Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
