your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
