Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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