He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
