Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
