She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize