So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
