my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
